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Dear Baby Girl, today I photographed you in my wedding dress.  You looked so sweet and innocent.  I’d like to take your picture in my wedding dress every year….as long as you let me…and as long as I remember.  Your face in a few of these images reminded me of how I was when I first tried it on. I never thought I would go with a princess style dress with pink threading in the flowers on the bodice, but every other dress I tried on made me look old and boring. Of course, if I were to pick a new dress now, I would probably go with the more sophisticated  “champaign” color and less poof…but then again, now I’m old and boring.  I was only 22 when I married your daddy….and he was only 20!  And I know this is cliche, but I love him more today than I did when we got married.  I wanted to let you know that I’ve already started praying for your spouse….I know sounds crazy right? Every night after I pray for you, I continue to pray for your spouse, who may not even be born yet (if you’re a cradle robber like your mama!!).  I pray for your future spouse because the choices he makes while growing up will affect how he treats you, how he loves you, and how he cares for you. I also pray for your choices as you grow, and I pray that when you make bad choices (because we are all human and you Will make bad choices) you come to me unafraid. You see, the world around you is changing every day, some for better and some not. The world will tell you God is anything you want Him to be, some even try to make themselves God. The world will tell you to do whatever makes you happy, even if it hurts others. The world will tell you it’s ok to have sex before marriage…..whenever you feel ready, where ever you want, with whomever you want, and it will make you a better lover. The world will tell you many things….but my hope for you is that God will be louder than the world.   I want nothing but the best for you baby girl, and I will continue to pray, laugh, dream, and cry with you until God calls me home. Love, mom

So, I thought I was being all sneaky and photographed my daughter in what I thought was my mom’s wedding dress….turns out, it was my Aunt Sis’…but they were too cute not too include. 2016-02-29_0007.jpg

 My daughter had a pretty “sweet” Halloween costume last year as a Starbucks Latte, so I thought it was going to be hard to beat….until I decided that she would be pretty stinkin cute as the Queen of Hearts. All I had to do was show my oh so talented mom a picture of a dress I liked, tell her a few changes I wanted…and wam bam thank you mam!! My mom is so talented…I wish I had her capability with sewing (with no pattern to boot!).  I’m pretty sure I couldn’t even thread a machine, let alone make this adorable costume for my daughter. So, thank you mom, you are the best!  I’m pretty sure my daughter thinks so too…I love this girl infinity times infinity!!


{I’ve written, deleted, and written some more, and honestly, I can’t quite find the right words to convey what I want to say. I didn’t want this to be a whiney, gloomy post or a cliche “it’s all about trusting Jesus” post (yes, I believe we should trust in Jesus).  Maybe I was too focused on trying to be profound, yet funny…that the words just didn’t come…or maybe, I’m not supposed to share every thing that’s on my heart….maybe I’m just supposed to write for me.  To write as a reminder to myself that each day I will make over a hundred choices, choices that will either uplift me and those around me or tear me down along with those around me.  So, get out of your dang pajamas woman and read this! (I’m talking to myself here, by the way.)}
Winters are hard for me. It seems like when the skies turn gray, a veil is put over my eyes and I can’t see the beauty in the everyday. My hands and feet turn into ice blocks.  I’m stressed.  I can’t stand that my face is breaking out like a fourteen year old boy. I feel like I pray the same prayers over and over and yet, I still make the same mistakes…I get angry, I say things I shouldn’t, I get jealous, I feel overwhelmed, ugly, not worthy of God’s forgiveness or grace. I take for granted all that I have…my husband, my children, my family…my own life.  I find myself wasting nights watching ten episodes of Switched at Birth on Netflix, instead of doing much needed chores around the house.  I’m torn between what I think I want to do with my life and what I feel God is calling me to do. I feel isolated in my own mind… and that can be a very lonely place….but it doesn’t have to be.  I need to stop trying to change the way things look and start trying to change the way I SEE.  I can either let my negative thoughts control me, or I can choose to think differently. Before I get out of bed, I can choose to check my email or I can choose to do a devotion before my feet hit the wood floor. I can choose to be defeated, or I can choose to find joy.  Will it be easy? Of course not, but I’m tired of being tired…I’m tired of not truly loving myself. I’m tired of feeling I’m the only one who feels this way. I’m tired of hiding behind a smile.  I’m tired of believing God’s promises for everyone else, but not for myself.  I am responsible for my own choices, for my own happiness.  I don’t know what tomorrow will bring or what my thoughts will be, but today, I choose hope. I choose acceptance.  I choose laughter. I choose to believe God has a plan for my life, for my family, and for every person on this earth. 


Model: Henley Drew
Makeup and Hair: Laura Drew

 Growing older is inevitable, and as I age, the people dear to me age….and with age,  it’s only a matter of time until there is change…..and I’m not one for change. This past summer, my grandparent’s decided it was time for them to sell their home (the place where I spent so many nights running, playing, and snuggling) to build a more suitable home that better fits their needs.  Of course I was sad to hear the news, but I knew it was coming, the gardens and house were simply too much to take care of.  They decided to start giving away some of their things to family to make the move to a smaller house easier.  As my grandma walked me around the house, I almost broke down thinking about childhood memories of me playing dress up with my cousins, to teenage memories of me crying into my grandma’s arms, to present day sitting beside them, watching my grandpa hide quarters for my boys to find.  My heart hurt as I realized my daughter would never get the chance to spend the night in the “pink doll room” with her cousins, she would never remember playing on the swing in the backyard, she would never remember running up and down the stairs dragging her hands along the banister….and that’s when I decided to take her pictures there…so we can remember together, so I can tell her all of the stories that were born in grandma and grandpa dolly’s house. (If you are wondering why we call them grandma and grandpa dolly, it’s because my grandma owns Dolly Heaven, a doll repair shop downtown New Haven.)
     If you have ever been on Powers St in New Haven, then you’ve probably seen the big white pillars of their house (or mansion as I used to call it). In the spring, the bushes would bear their bright yellow flowers, and in the winter, the candle lights in the windows would give a soft glow through the curtains….it was magical.  And being able to see my daughter on the front steps was even more magical. 
  As my grandparent’s prepare to move into the next stage of their lives, I realize now more than ever, that although I will miss their house greatly, a house is just a house… and it’s the people inside of it that make it a home, and when I’m with my grandma and grandpa, no matter where it may be, it always feels like home.  I love you grandma and grandpa!!

P.S. My grandparent’s house is still for sale if you know of anyone who wants to buy an awesome house! You can check it out online here.

Last summer my babysitter Desi sent me a picture from Pinterest and said my daughter, Adley,  JUST HAD to be a Starbucks coffee for Halloween.  Literally, just two nights ago, my super uber duper talented mom (LINDA!!) put this adorable costume together for my little girl! (I did the Starbucks logos…I wasn’t completely useless!) I had about two minutes to snap some pictures of Adley before she was DONE and wanted to go play (I’m hoping to get more tomorrow! fingers crossed!) You could most definitely do this costume with just felt and no sewing (hello glue gun and burnt fingertips!), but my mom did use her good ole sewing machine to make it easier….no pattern used, just a picture from Pinterest and some imagination (the green straw is a toilet paper roll with felt glued to it).  So….for Halloween, I will be walking around with the best (and cutest) cup of coffee ever!
I’ll take mine decaf with nonfat milk and carmel syrup please! Of course I had to jump in as a barista!